Why Huckabee Matters

Disclaimers: I believe that Mike Huckabee is a homophobe and a loon. Whatever comments I make on his candidacy are not to be taken as any form of support, any more than examining a deadly scorpion in a bottle means that I've suddenly decided scorpions are cute and cuddly and make great pets.

Nevertheless...

It's interesting that his out-of-the-mainstream religious views (do I win a prize for understatement?) are what's been getting the most attention; the basic meme running through the chattering classes has been that the Evangelicals are supporting Huckabee because they've finally gotten sick of being used and are taking over and are finally, finally going to convince every last man, woman and child that the earth is 6000 years old, dammit! This interpretation of events -- and particularly the brouhaha over Huckabee's "Christmas ad" -- has Kos practically cackling with glee, and it's got Peggy Noonan wistfully crying into her kool-aid:

Does Mr. Huckabee understand that his approach is making people uncomfortable?

Because, of course, the last thing in the world that any politician should ever do is make Peggy Noonan and the Beltway crowd uncomfortable. Never mind all those icky things like "ideas".

None of this is surprising in the slightest, but it's been a distraction from what really has Grover Norquist and the Club for Growth crowd completely freaked out, namely the fact that the Huckster is a lot more William Jennings Bryan than Ronald Reagan -- that is to say, his appeal may rely just as much on his populist economic message as it does his crazy-ass Creationism.

If you actually look at both his record of actions and his on-the-record statements, Huckabee isn't exactly a Socialist, or even what anyone could comfortably call an economic centrist, but his words and deeds are unmistakably on the side of the concept that government should actually, you know, be able to function and do things for people. To hear Huck tell it, not all taxes are inherently evil, not every government function should be privatized, and unchecked "market forces" are not the deus ex machina that will lead every American to peace, prosperity, and a pony. The fact that he's -- no other word for it -- surging in the polls may very well mean that a surprising proportion of Republican voters have realized that the laissez-faire economic message they've been spoon-fed for decades is basically a massive, unworkable crock of horseshit.

A word on definitions: there is a difference between "bullshit" and "horseshit". "Bullshit" is a lie told only to enhance the standing of the speaker, usually after a drink or twelve. "Horseshit" is a lie told with deliberate and malicious intent. Your uncle telling war stories at Thanksgiving is a bullshitter. A politician insisting that cutting taxes and increasing spending makes good economic sense is a horseshitter. As you can tell, the Republican party is currently full of horseshitters.

If Huckabee Hound manages to put down the rest of the field, the repulsive, reprehensible "drown the government in the bathtub" wing of the Republican party will basically find themselves shut out of power. With the anticipated increase in Dem control of Congress next fall, they're already having trouble finding jobs on K Street. If they have a plurality of the voters of their own party telling them to get bent, they're done. And they know it. That's the real reason they're freaking, and that's why they're currently throwing anything they can find at Huckabee.

However noxious I may find Mike Huckabee in almost every other way, I absolutely love the fact that he's got the Corporatism-über-alles crowd wetting their collective pants.

I believe the Germans call this feeling Schadenfreude.